The Starter Wife
We live in an abundant consumer driven society. People begin with starter home and cars. Then soon upgrade to something better. Cell phones and TV's are a disposable commodity. As soon as the next model is out people want it. I deserve, therefore I should have. More and better is the common mantra.
In this era of entitlement and self fulfillment, we are faced with a new phenomenon. The starter wife. A couple of years ago I went on a church retreat, and met a wonderful stay at home mom. Who gave up her career to stay at home and take care of her family's which included three adopted children? Her husband is a successful lawyer that works downtown. He is an elder in the church. Recently she notice subtle changes, in her husband. It started with staying at work late. Then progressed to going for drinks with single people, under the pretence of networking. Later he wanted a sporty two seater car. When questioned by his wife why, he wanted a two seater sports car. His response was, I worked hard for it and everyone else in his office has one. Eventually he asked for a divorce. He informed his wife that because of his elevated status, he could afford a younger better looking wife.
Factors that contribute to the starter wife.
· In the 1970 women started to become fully immersed in the workforce. More men and women working side by side increased the odds of office affairs.
· The 1970's brought irreconcilable differences, for divorce. Couples no longer having to have a valid reason for divorce. This resulted in removing the social stigma associated with divorce.
· Baby Boomers (people born between the years of 1946 and 1964) saw their parents in loveless and unhappy marriages now adapted a new motto if it's not working its better to separate. Why should I stay in a bad marriage? As a result we now have the disposable marriage.
How to avoid being a starter wife
There are a few steps that you can take to avoid this problem.
1. First start hanging around with married people, Divorce is contagious, if everyone around you is having a divorce, you both will be influence by their actions.
2. Have date night weekly. Don't just go to the movie, make it interesting. Do a bit of research and try something new.
· Check out your local museum or
and see if they
have a wine a cheese night, even if you don't drink wine the ambiance is beautiful. Art
· Download the free astronomy app on your phone. Drive into the country and check out the stars. Or view a meteor shower together, visit the Almanac site for the next meteor shower in your area. http://www.almanac.com/content/meteor-showers-guide#.
· If you prefer to go out for coffee, choose a new coffee shop each week, and rate the coffee.
3. Have sex on a regular basis. If he wanted a friend he would never have gotten married. One of the many perks of marriage is the marriage bed. If you're not up to sex, figure out what the problem is and do something about it. There is no reason why he should suffer.
4. Communication, the art of communication is lost. Make a point to have dinner together each night at the dinner table, with the T.V. off. If you're out together as a family, make it a rule, no cell phone interruptions. There is nothing worse than seeing a couple out on a date and one is on the phone. Couples seem to think that because their already married that they can get away with this type of behaviour
In he end there is no sure fire way to secure your relationships. If someone is going to cheat or leave they will. One thing you can do is stay true to yourself. Don't give up all your friends and hobbies. Never let your husband be your end all. For one thing no man wants a woman smothering them. It's a sure fire way of losing his interest or having him take advantage of you. Having a life of your own is a sign of independence, it also shows that this lady knows she has true value and is a prize. Chances when he sees you as a prize he may be less likely to dispose of you.